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My name is Bobby. I am 71 years old and I have two daughters.
Linda is employed by the Bank of America and lives in Suffolk.
Bonnie is employed by Eggleston Services and lives in Virginia
Beach at MacLeigh House, a group home operated by Heart Havens.
Bonnie has mental retardation and until last year had lived
with me for 40 years. She receives case management services
through the Norfolk Community Services Board (CSB). I tell you
about both my daughters because Linda is very much a part of
Bonnie’s life.
As I look back, I know I always wondered what would happen
to Bonnie when her Dad and I were gone. But when I had cancer
in 1999, I knew this was a sign that I had to get serious
about Bonnie’s future, especially since her Dad had
passed away a few years earlier. Last year, Bonnie received
Medicaid Waiver services through Norfolk CSB. Her case manager
and other mental retardation staff were very helpful in assisting
us in making the best decisions for Bonnie. She was given
several choices of residential and vocational placements and
we were able to visit numerous homes throughout the area.
As we rode around visiting possible placements, Linda and
I cried because we felt like we were deserting Bonnie, even
though we knew this was best for her and had to be done. As
a parent, it was very difficult for me to consider having
Bonnie live someplace other than my home, but I wanted to
be around to interact with her in her new surroundings, so
I called her case manager and told her how I felt. After much
paperwork by the case manager and discussion with all concerned
parties, Bonnie moved to MacLeigh House in March 2000. She
is very proud of her new home, has made many new friends,
and continues to expand her independence daily. Monday through
Friday, she attends Eggleston Services where she works as
a production worker and also attends many community activities.
I know that I held on to Bonnie too long, because she needed
to feel grown up and independent. That means visiting Mama
and Linda once and in a while and then going back to her house,
and this is fine with Bonnie. I know there are a lot of parents
going through the same anguish that I did, and as they age
they realize they cannot do it forever. Waiver needs to be
made available to all people who are eligible so that everyone
can share a success story such as ours. There comes a time
for all of us when we need our own lives and our own space.
Update: Bonnie is actively involved in the
Agape Class at Community United Methodist Church and served
as acolyte for the early Sunday worship service there for
the first time on Sunday, June 24, 2001!
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Mind's Eye Designs